Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Opposite of Love is Not Hate

In am interesting and informative Psychology Today article, “Love and Hate” by Sondra Wolfer, the emotions of love and hate are discussed ( For example, Ms. Wolfer says that based on recent research, “Relationships that evoke conflicting feelings may cause more stress than those characterized by outright dislike.”

People frequently say or suggest that the opposite of love is hate (e.g., “I don’t know if he loves me or hates me.”) In lectures and book talks, as well as in my self-help and pop-psych books, I argue that the opposite of love is indifference. Consider – if you love me, you care and have feelings for me, and if you hate me you still care and still have feelings for me. Fittingly, I consider love and hate to be different extremes of a similar emotion, and the opposite of love being that you simply have no emotion regarding me (i.e., indifference).

Cheers, Bill

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