Humor: A Nice Spice in Novels

Humor tends to play an important role in my life… in addition to the entertainment factor of good old “funny,” comic relief can be very relieving in daunting and stressful situations. To wit, I spice up my novels with humor; my reading fan tell me that they appreciate the humor in itself and also recognize that the placing of the humor releases some of the tension they are feeling for and with the characters at that respective moment. There are, moreover, different kinds of humor.

In Chapter 6 of My Sweetpea: Seven Years and Seven Days, for example, we can see what I call “funny yet sad” humor. Frank, the hero’s father – an alcoholic who treats his wife, Doris, in ways that would make Archie Bunker look like a saint – treats the hero and the heroin and her parents to dinner at a fancy restaurant. When everyone has finished eating and is readying to leave the restaurant, Frank asks everyone to go to the bar so he can treat to a round of drinks. Everyone politely says, “No thank you…” The scene ends, however, in a humorous yet sad way:

As the waitress returned to the table with a stack of Go-Boxes, she neatly set Henry and Susan’s two boxes in front of them. “Frank, thank you again so much for dinner. This was a wonderful opportunity for all of us to finally meet,” Henry cordially said to Frank.

“My pleasure I assure you. And you sure you don’t want to join us in the lounge for a nightcap? I don’t want to have to go into the lounge with Doris and be by myself.”

In Chapter 18 of Fear of Feeling Loved, we can see what I refer to as “funny wording” humor. Marcia, the heroin, and the hero’s (Jack’s) teenage daughter are at Jack’s house trying to be helpful by doing some house painting. While in the garage they accidently spill a can of green paint on Jack’s beautiful Harley Davidson Road King motorcycle. They decide to wait until he returns before trying to clean it up. The scene is described as follows, humorously describing Jack’s reaction:

Twenty minutes later, they heard Jack pull up to the garage. Then they heard the garage door open and the door to Jack’s SUV close. They also heard the faint sounds of the opening and the closing of the backdoor hatch as he got things out. Marcia and Christine looked into each other’s eyes, visualizing Jack entering the garage.

Then they heard it – the sound coming from the garage was somewhere between a coyote howling at the moon and an opera singer passing a stone.

And in Chapter 9 of If Ever Again… It’ll be for Love, we can see what I call “cute” humor. Diane, a divorced single mom, is on a five-day vacation at a resort in Jamaica. She meets the hero, Michael, and before leaving her room to meet Michael for dinner she is missing her little girl terribly, calls home and speaks to Carol (her friend who’s been watching her five-year old daughter, Rebecca) and then Rebecca:

Diane’s heart glowed when she heard Rebecca say, “Hi mommy!” A few minutes later, after hearing Rebecca tell her all about how Teddy was being good and taking care of her, Diane said, “Mommy has to get ready for dinner, so I have to go. I love you, honey. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“I know,” Rebecca replied excitedly.

“And what are you doing tonight, honey?” Diane nonetheless asked.

“We’re not making a chocolate cake for you.”

“Oh, okay.” Diane could hear Carol laughing.

In my latest pop-psych book, Living Life, Anyway, I have a chapter on “Living Life, Humorously.” Simply said, there are many speed bumps and pot holes in the road of life – the ability to appropriately laugh at them, and at times even at yourself, indeed can make ones life-journey more pleasant, happier and functional, as well as less stressful and more meaningful.

If you have a humorous experience that was simultaneously funny and helpful in some way, please share it.

Bill

Technology Is Wonderful If You Don’t Let It Control You

Today was one of those wonderful fall days on the west coast of Florida – low seventies, low humidity, high blue sky, bright sun and very few snow birds on the roadways – simply perfect for a motorcycle ride. Thus, after helping a neighbor in his yard and then meeting two good friends for a late breakfast where we were able to sit outside, I took off on my Harley Road King heading north on Gulf Boulevard. About forty-five minutes later, I met up with an acquaintance at beautiful Sand Key Park -- overlooking the Gulf of Mexico, watching sailboats cutting wakes across the gun blue water, terns doing low flyovers in the shallows and sea gulls gliding high above catching thermals. Every few minutes, however, our conversation was interrupted by his cell phone – or said more accurately: our conversation was interrupted by his answering his cell phone. He never said he was expecting a call and on every occasion proffered, “Oh it’s… it’ll only be a minute.” After the fifth call in twenty minutes, I politely excused myself and got back on my bike. As I rode away I thought about the impact of technology on “quality of life.” An interesting consideration.

In it’s broader sense, Technology is a broad concept that deals with a species’ usage and knowledge of tools and crafts, and how it affects a species’ ability to control and adapt to its environment. In this sense, we have done exceptionally well – as Britannica.com states: “There can be little doubt that technology has brought a higher standard of living to people in advanced countries, just as it has enabled a rapidly rising population to subsist in the developing countries.” As most of know and appreciate, technology indeed has enhanced our quality of life. It is important to remember, nonetheless, that it is imperative for us to control the extent to which and at what magnitude technology affects our lives – specifically, our quality of life.

An internet article entitled “Towards better quality of life through technology” by jim, offers some excellent considerations regarding the usefulness (and potential abusiveness) of technology:

1. The potency of any technology used to make life more convenient, interesting, richer (henceforth, just better) is directly related to the number of people with whom you interact who also use it.

2. When the barriers to adding, modifying and sharing content are low, more people will be able to use it and, as such, the potency referred to in #1 is increased. And,

3. There is a temporal nature to sharing information in that some information is only useful in a certain context. Having information in that context is critical. The ability to not be distracted by that information when it’s out of context is equally critical.

Before leaving the Park, I saw a beautiful, new Kawasaki motorcycle sitting by itself in the parking lot. Nearby, its owner was sitting on a swing. I pulled in next to the motorcycle, and within a few minutes was engaged in some interesting and invigorating conversation with a very friendly rider. And while we chatted, for slightly less than an hour, my cell phone vibrated (and I sensed that hers did as well). However, neither of us answered our phones – we remained focused, politely engaged in our conversation.

As I was riding home, I thought about one of the pearls of wisdom my dad offered to me many years ago -- way before modern technology– it clearly addresses the difference between how my acquaintance responded to his cell phone ringing and how the lady with whom I later was talking and I responded to our cell phones ringing. It is in my latest pop-psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em. I will share it with you below:

**********************************

Playing Catch

I vividly remember when I started my job as a high school English teacher. Not being that much older than most of my students, I was having a ball.

One weekend while I was visiting my parents, my father and I were talking out in the garage. Like most dads in those days, he was always tinkering with something. As he reached for a wrench he asked, “How are things at school?”

“Oh, I love the teaching part of it,” I replied, “but I’m having some difficulties with some of the other teachers.”

“What kinds of difficulties?”

“Some of them just say the most stupid things to me. They think that because they have so many years of experience they know everything there is to know about education.”

“And, obviously, you respond to them.”

“Of course. All the time.”

“Why?”

“Because they’re talking to me.”

My father glanced at me with a smirk and returned to what he was doing on the workbench. “Son, when you were playing football and someone threw you the ball, you caught everything they threw to you. But now that you’re older and wiser…”

“Meaning…old, wise, tight end of life?”

His response:

Just because you throw me the ball

doesn’t mean I have to catch it.

**********************************

Question: Do you stay in control of your technology or do you allow yourself to be controlled by you technology?

Bill

Birthday Trivia on a Laid-Back Sunday

As you know, my Posts typically have insightful and relatively poignant messages. Today, however, I’m thinking and Posting outside the box.

My day began with a delightful breakfast with my brother and sister-in-law, George and Debbie, and dear friends, Doug and Susan, at a beach-side restaurant. Then we got on our Harleys and drove over the Skyway Bridge to a great little biker bar, Peggy’s Corral, just north of Sarasota. The wonderful live music and a couple of hundred bikers solving the world’s problems counterbalanced the heat and humidity. Most importantly, it was fun.

On my way home I stopped at Barnes and Noble and with a gift card purchased a new book – Michael Connelly’s latest novel, The Overlook (I love his adorable old sleuth, Harry Bosch). After enjoying phone calls from friends, my three children and three grandchildren and before heading out to the porch to listen to the dolphins blowing by and settling in to see what’s new with Harry (with the Braves/Cubs game on the tube of course), I thought I’d share seventeen silly and unnecessary pieces of Birthday Trivia with you:

1. It is customary in many cultures to celebrate the anniversary of one’s birthday, for example by having a birthday party with family and/or friends.

2. Today is or would have been the birthdays of some well-known people: Saul Bellow, novelist (1915), Judy Garland, actress (1922), and Tara Lipinski, figure skater (1982).

3. It is thought that the large-scale celebration of birthdays in Europe began with the cult of Mithras, which originated in Persia but was spread by soldiers throughout the Roman Empire.

4. Birthday celebrations were rare during the Middle Ages but saw a resurgence with the advent of the Reformation. During this period, they were seen as a good way to transfer customs from the saint’s days to other dates not linked to the newly repudiated veneration of saints.

5. Today, the celebration of birthdays is not universal in the West; in addition to those people preferring name day celebrations, Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate either, considering their origins to be pagan festivals along with Christmas and Easter.

6. Some adults loathe celebrating it as it reminds them that they are getting progressively older.

7. In most English-speaking countries it is traditional to sing the song Happy Birthday to You to the honored person celebrating his birthday. The Happy Birthday Song melody is thought to be the most frequently sung melody in the world.

8. The birthday cake is traditionally highly decorated, and typically covered with lit candles when presented; the number of candles often equals the age of the person. Birthday cakes have been a tradition dating back as far as the Middle Ages when the English would conceal symbolic items such as gold coins, rings and thimbles inside their cakes. Each item was associated with a prediction. For example, a person finding a gold coin in a birthday cake would supposedly become wealthy where a person discovering a thimble would never marry (Ouch!).

9. Notable birthdays tend to include when the most significant digit changes, for example one's 1st, 10th, 15th, 30th, 50th, or 100th birthdays, as well as significant years such as the 18th (UK and US legal adult age), and 21st (US alcoholic beverage drinking age).

10. In most legal systems, one becomes a legal adult on a particular birthday, and at different ages gain different rights and responsibilities — voting, certain drug use (for example, alcohol, purchasing tobacco), eligibility for military draft or voluntary enlistment, purchasing lottery tickets, etc.

11. Most cultures have one or more coming of age birthdays. For example, Jewish boys have a bar mitzvah on or around their 13th birthday. Jewish girls observe a bat mitzvah on or around their 12th birthday, or sometimes on or around their 13th birthday in Reform and Conservative Judaism.

13. In some Christian traditions, generally Catholic and Anglican, Confirmation is the ritual by which a young person becomes an official member of the Church. This sometimes includes the bestowal of a “Confirmation name,” generally the name of a saint, which is often worn as a second middle name.

14. In Latin America the quinceañera celebration traditionally marks a girl’s 15th birthday.

15. Some girls and a few boys in the United States have “sweet sixteen” birthday parties.

16. The most common birthday in the USA is October 5, whereas the least common birthday is May 22.

17. All racehorses traditionally celebrate their birthday on (that is, calculate their age in years from) 1 August in the Southern Hemisphere, and on 1 January in the Northern Hemisphere. (I can’t believe Curlin didn’t win the Preakness yesterday!)

No, I did not put my bike down and hit my head, nor did I have too many beers at Peggy’s. Trust me, my next Post will return to what is my norm – today I just decided to give myself permission to be a little silly. Today’s my birthday.

Bill

Sharing is Sometimes More Demanding than Giving

This morning I awoke excited – sometime before noon a good friend and I are getting on my Harley Road King and heading out for a ride in the nice yet slightly cool Florida sun. Given that she and I may ride over the Skyway Bridge and hit a few biker bars in the Sarasota area, I was remembering a time when I stopped at one of those establishments and discovered an intriguing pearl of wisdom regarding sharing versus giving. I want to share it with you (no pun intended).

In my recently released pop psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em, there is a vignette, labeled “Sharing,” that tells the story:

*********************

Sharing

One time at a beachside biker bar, with a cold one in hand, I walked outside and around to the picnic tables out back. I climbed onto the bench across from a married couple in their early fifties. They were wearing matching black T-shirts with motorcycle logos on the front. Immediately, they drew me into their conversation with their joviality.

Earl, who owned a large lawn service company, was a burly guy with huge hands and a ruddy complexion. Louise, petite and a bit drawn in the face, was an elementary school teacher. When Earl finished his beer, he motioned to Louise that it was time to go. After shaking my hand and saying, “Nice chattin’ with ya’,” he got up, went over to his dresser (a large touring bike), threw his leg over the backrest, and plopped down on the wide seat. My eyes were out on stems when I saw the back of his shirt. In conspicuous lettering it said, “If you can read this, the bitch fell off.” Earl cranked up the engine, revealing the power of his bike and heralding his readiness to leave.

Hearing the guttural sound of Earl’s bike, Louise bid me farewell and pulled herself up from the table. Wouldn’t you know it—her T-shirt had its own contribution to make. As Louise swung a spindly leg over her low-rider, I read, “If you can read this, the bitch just passed you.” Louise pulled out onto the street ahead of Earl and, in between first and second gear, flashed a peace sign in my direction. I ate it up.

A guy behind me saw the whole thing and commented, “You gotta love it.”

I agreed, adding, “You know, he seemed very comfortable with his wife having her own bike.”

“I guess… I used to have a Deuce. It was a sweet bike, too! I wanted to give my wife her own bike for Christmas. But instead she said, ‘Just trade yours in for a touring bike and we can ride together.’” As if on cue, his wife came out of the bar and announced that she was ready to go.

“Nice meeting you,” I offered as the man immediately began following his wife to their big touring bike. Nonetheless, halfway to his bike he stopped, turned, walked back to me, and lowered his voice and said, “One of the things my mother used to tell me and my brother was,

Sharing is sometimes more demanding than giving.

********************

Question: have you ever found sharing to be more demanding than giving?

Bill

My “Works in Progress”

Up to about fifteen minutes ago, I was enjoying a very relaxing Sunday morning – on the back porch with my two cats, a cup of hot coffee, reading the Sunday paper, watching an occasional dolphin or sailboat heading out to the Gulf of Mexico. Then, however, the struggle began – my head and heart were arguing. My head was saying, “Stay home and rest today, you’re still tired from your softball game Friday night, and you could get a good jump on that chapter you outlined yesterday.” My heart was saying, “Fix a protein shake, go to the gym for a short workout, shower up and jump on your Harley for a nice ride in the warm sun, and later take in some needed additional protein and carbs with a couple of Mich Lites while watching the NFL playoff games.” Part of my head’s reasoning included that I was planning to put another Post on my blog today; part of my heart’s reasoning was that yesterday, with the tremendous assistance of KIP, my "Internet Angel from Mill City Press, I did a lot of tweaking and improving of my blog and I needed a day away from my computer and writing -- I need a day off.” Ah yes… decisions, decisions, decisions.

As you already may have noticed, one of the things I did yesterday was to add an item to the sidebar – Works in Progress. Many people have been asking me what I’ve been doing and what my next books will be about. “Ah,” I thought, “I’ll add this sidebar, keep it updated, and when people want an update it will be there.”

If your interest and spirit move you, click on the Works in Progress on the sidebar and you will see what I’ve been doing, what’s in progress, and what I’m planning. And if you have any suggestions, recommendations and/or pearls of wisdom, please share them with me.

Ciao for now,

Bill

P.S. I just finished a protein shake, am heading for the gym, and then… as you can see – no writing today.

Perception is the Only Thing that Matters… Depending on How You Look at It

I repeatedly am fascinated by the way people can look at the same object or situation and see entirely different things. At the university, for example, we have an old cliché that always brings a smile to my face: if you have three professors in the room, you'll have at last four different opinions.

The notion of “what you see is what is” comes from the concept of perception. In psychology and the cognitive sciences, perception is the process of acquiring, interpreting, selecting, and organizing sensory information. (And for those deeply interested in perception, you would enjoy looking at those philosophies associated with Phenomenology – the study of structures of consciousness as experienced from the first-person point of view.)

In my recently published pop psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em, there is a vignette titled, “Perception.” In it I tell of an experience I had sitting at a biker bar, talking with a woman whose name was Alison. She and I were sitting at an outside table, sipping cold beers in the warm sun, appreciating the variety of motorcycles in the parking lot. To wit, I said to her, “These bikes are so different from each other. And assuming that every bike owner likes how his or her bike looks, I guess there’s a lot of truth to the cliché ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.’”
At that moment, a bike pulled up whose owner announced proudly to some people he knew, “She’s new—just got her last week. Isn’t she beautiful?”
A minute later, a man sitting behind us said to his girlfriend, discreetly yet loud enough for us to hear, “I wouldn’t want that bike if you gave it to me.”
Alison and I heard him but were careful not to acknowledge our awareness of the comment. Then, out of the corner of her mouth, Alison murmured, “I love my father’s Vince Lombardi like quote:

Perception isn’t everything;
it’s the only thing.

So, what do you think of that?

Bill

Engagement Ring…? How about a Motorcycle. How Romantic...

As most of us know, an engagement is an agreement or promise to marry, and also refers to the time between proposal and marriage. During this period, a couple is said to be affianced, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. In Western tradition, an engagement ring is a ring worn by a woman on her left-hand ring finger indicating her engagement to be married. By modern convention, the ring is usually presented as a betrothal gift by a man to his prospective bride while or directly after she accepts his marriage proposal. It represents a formal agreement to future marriage. In Sweden, Denmark, Finland and Germany, interestingly, both the man and the woman wear engagement rings. However, in these countries the man's engagement ring is often used as the wedding ring. In the United States – well in St. Petersburg, Florida in the new millennium anyway – women aren’t always offered an engagement ring when asked for their hand in marriage.

Yesterday afternoon while at a local Harley-Davidson dealership, I ran into and was talking with Richard, one of my teammates on my Friday night co-ed softball team. He introduced me to one of his coworkers who told us about what had happened to his cousin, Lynn.

Lynn, in her mid-forties, had been dating her significant other, John, who had just turned fifty, for about a year. Both had been married before, loved each other very much, yet weren’t necessarily in any hurry to escalate their relationship. On most weekends since they had met, they would go for at least one long motorcycle ride on John’s Harley-Davidson Road King Classic – John would drive and Lynn would ride on the back. Last summer, however, Lynn said she wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle herself and took a motorcycle safety course, passed it with flying colors, and got her motorcycle endorsement on her driver’s license. Nonetheless, she continued to ride behind John on his Road King whenever they went riding.

About two months ago when shopping at the mall, they wandered into a few jewelry stores and “half-seriously looked” at engagement rings. The notion of engagement, however, didn’t come up again until a Wednesday evening about two weeks before Christmas when they were in a Harley dealership. John went outside to his bike to get something and when he came back into the showroom, there was Lynn – sitting on a brand new, 2007, Pacific Blue Pearl, Sportster 1200 Roadster. With a big smile, she said, half-kiddingly, “Forget the ring. I’d rather have one of these.”

That Friday evening, John was to pick Lynn up to go out to a movie. At seven o’clock, her phone rang. It was John. “Come outside,” he said, “I’m in your driveway.” Lynn went out the front door, and there was John, standing behind a shiny new blue motorcycle with a big smile on his face. He walked the bike up to Lynn, parked it on its kickstand, got down on one knee and said, “Lynn, I love you with all my heart – will you marry me?”

I don’t know if there’s any moral to this story, but from what Richard told us, there are three very happy people: John – who said, “Will you marry me?” Lynn – who said, “Yes.” And Ralph – the salesman who said, “Sold.”

Gotta love some of those motorcycle riders – romantic in their own unique way.

Bill

Motorcycle Riding and Philosophical Aspects of Life

Yesterday morning I rode my Harley over to my brother’s house, and after a cup of coffee he and I headed out for a short ride and a stop at a local motorcycle dealership. (Okay, I can hear some of you now – women go to the mall and look at new shoes and men go to motorcycle dealerships and look at new toys). Nonetheless, on my way back home I came up on a group of a dozen or more motorcycles and rode along with them. They were very friendly and it was fun. As we were riding, however, I noticed that some of the riders looked almost exclusively ahead through their windshields and some frequently looked in their rearview mirrors. Interesting? I thought.

Later when I got home and was sitting out on my dock reflecting on my ride, the first thing I thought of was that all of the riders with whom I had been riding with were careful and safe riders. And if you look at the State Motorcycle Riding Laws, they address things such as helmets, headlights on during the day, eye protection, etc., and that motorcycles must have two rearview mirrors. There also are numerous other excellent sources for enjoying safe and comfortable motorcycle riding (such as the Motorcycle Safety Foundation, and Motorcycle Tips and Techniques). I also reflected on some of the sayings that motorcycle riders say to stay focused on safety – some of which I include in my new pop psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em – sayings such as “Keep the shiny side up” and “Keep the rubber side down.” Nonetheless, my observations of the riders’ seldom using versus frequently using their rearview mirrors stayed with me. After a short while, however, I realized why.

Being somewhat of a life-long student of philosophy and a psychologist with a penchant for symbolism, I saw “looking through the windshield” as focusing on the future and “looking in the rearview mirrors” as focusing on the past. Then a thin smile broke across my face as I thought about two relevant anecdotal pearls of wisdom:

The first was from my pop psych book, Living Life, Anyway:
“If you live your life with one foot in the future and one foot in the past, the best you can hope for is to piss on the present.”

The second one was from my self-help book, Adult Loving Relationships:
“Watch your charts and keep an eye on your bow – make sure you know where you are going. Look over the stern occasionally too, appreciate your wake – it can tell you a lot about you and your boat.”

How much time do you spend looking through the windshield or over the bow, and how much time do you spend looking in your rearview mirrors or over the stern?

Bill

Change…? Okay. But What is It? And What’s Different?

Over the past few weeks, I have read numerous blog Posts talking about “resolutions” and “change” (e.g., Wowimo, Happy and Blue 2, and the Wink). And, as you may have noticed, I myself have done likewise. Nonetheless, let’s pause for a moment and look at the phenomenon of change. Fundamentally, “change denotes the transition that occurs when something goes from being the same to being different.”

Many times in my 33 years as a licensed psychologist when a client would say something like, “I’m so excited… it really has changed,” I frequently would say, “I truly believe and respect your excitement. But may I ask two questions: What’s it? And, what’s different?”

Part of my exploratory questioning has to do with specifically what it is? And another is: did it really change or did its appearance change. For example, one of my favorite old clichés goes something like… If you strap a stack of dictionaries on the back of a donkey, it’s still an ass.

Another potentially relevant concern has to do with whether it really changed or whether you merely are seeing it (perceiving it) differently. In my recently published pop psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em, in one of the 50 vignettes I talk about my experience of talking with a lovely woman, Alison, who I met at a biker bar. While enjoying a cold beer on a warm afternoon, we heard one person look at a parked motorcycle and say, “I just love that bike” and another person later whisper, “I wouldn’t want that bike if you gave it to me.” Obviously, she and I were careful not to acknowledge our awareness of the latter comment. Then, out of the corner of her mouth, Alison murmured, “I love my father’s Vince Lombardi like quote: Perception isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” Likewise, in my romance novels it is not uncommon for a heroine’s attitudes and feelings about something to change. For example, have you ever found yourself saying or thinking: “When we first met and he did that, I thought it was cute… now when he does it, I cringe.”

So, the next time you say or think something like, “I’m so excited… it really has changed,” ask yourself: What is it? What’s different? Did it really change or is it that my perception of it changed? And/or, have my feelings and attitudes about it changed?

Remember, sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same.

Now that’s different… Bill

Road Rage… Special Considerations for Motorcycle Riders

An enlightening 1997 CNN, U.S. News article stated, “Road Rage runs rampant in high-stress U.S. society,” and furthermore said, “For the fourth year in a row, the death toll on America's highways climbed in 1997, thanks mainly to a new malady known as "road rage… (and) more than 41,000 died in traffic accidents, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA). The government agency says that two-thirds of those deaths were the result of road rage. (cnn.com) And remember, that was almost 10 years ago!

Firstly, let’s recall what road rage is. According to Roadragers (roadragers.com), “Road rage (also road violence) is the informal name for deliberately dangerous and/or violent behavior under the influence of heightened, violent emotion such as anger and frustration, involving an automobile in use.” They also say, “People easily grow tired of the ‘idiots’ they see on roads every day. Many develop road rage by giving in to their own frustration.” (roadragers.com)

During a recent motorcycle ride with friends, a road rage driver confronted me. In spite of my fear and nervousness, I fortunately was able to remain calm. (I saw his hand gestures, but doubted that it was because he was hearing-impaired, and even though I concluded that one of his rants included something about my mother I doubt that it was affectionate.) I tried to remember all of the excellent suggestions for safe motorcycle riding. And if you’re not familiar with them, those listed and discussed by About:Motorcycles in its article, “10 Ways to Be Safe on a Motorcycle,” are excellent (motorcycles.about.com). Likewise, so is the article, “Road Rage and You; A MO Look at Staying Alive in the Jungle” by Bikebandit (motorcycle.com).

I strongly suggest you look at the insightful piece by Roadragers entitled, “Advice: How to Avoid Road Rage.” (roadragers) In it, for example, it states, “Have you ever experienced a bad day and you just didn't feel like yourself? Then, some ‘jerk’ makes you angry on your drive home. These are conditions that are perfect for road rage, and almost everybody has experienced them. The only difference between you and a road rager is how you deal with these feelings.”

Based on my experiences with road rage, I offer the following six reminders:
1. Stay calm and avoid eye contact (eye contact can be perceived as an act of aggression, and don’t respond, verbally or non-verbally, either);
2. Get away from him or her as soon as possible (it’s not being a coward – it’s being smart);
3. Stay around other vehicles (there’s comfort in numbers);
4. Get on your cell phone (he or she may think you’re calling 911 and leave the situation);
5. Do not pull over into an isolated area (such as an empty parking lot); and,
6. If you’re on a motorcycle, remember these above five suggestions in Bold Letters – being on two wheels, you’re at least twice as vulnerable.

Be safe and enjoy the ride, Bill

Motorcyclists Ride for Children Christmas Toys

If during the month of December you happen to be walking or driving on a local street and see a police-escorted parade with what may appear to be thousands of motorcycles, typically on a Saturday or Sunday, wave to them and cheer them on. My bet would be that what you are seeing is what is usually called “A Christmas Toy Ride.” On such occasions, motorcyclists show up at a prescribed time and specified place – with a wrapped child’s toy. Then all of the riders take off for a ride, usually returning to where they had started for food, libation and good conversation. The important thing is that the collected toys are distributed to children in the local area – children who, because of economic/social conditions, otherwise may not get anything (or hardly anything) for Christmas. Among other things, such as a lot of fun, it is a heart-warming experience for all involved.

Sometimes local motorcycle clubs organizes such rides. And considering that there are many many motorcycle clubs (for example, there are 114,000 Internet Sites for motorcycle clubs [google.com]), this could translate into many “Christmas Toy Rides.” As well, local governments, restaurants, bars and motorcycle dealerships organize some of these events. Other organizations actively organize or participate as well. For example, in 1983 Harley-Davidson® established the Harley Owners Group® in response to a growing desire by Harley® riders for an organized way to share their passion and show their pride (harley-davidson.com). Today, more than a million members make H.O.G. the largest factory-sponsored motorcycle organization in the world. Again, this adds to the acquisition and distribution of toys to needy children.

I hearken the wonderful old pearl of wisdom, “It’s more blessed to give than to receive.” (And for the record, you don’t have to have a motorcycle to participate – just show up with a wrapped toy and hang out – trust me: you’ll have a lot of fun and feel good about having done it.)

“Keep the shiny side up!” Bill

Older Motorcycle Riders… Enjoy the Ride, and Be Smart and Safe

While driving my truck over 800 miles on my Thanksgiving road trip to visit my family, I noticed many motorcyclists along the way. And in addition to seeing what appeared to be “more women motorcyclists” (which I addressed in my November 16, 2006 Post, “Women Motorcyclists” [women-motorcyclists]), I also observed that there were many older motorcyclists on the highways.

Upon my return, I was curious: What are the accident rates among older motorcyclists? In my searching for an answer to this question, I visited a very informative website, webBikeWorld.com (webbikeworld.com) and found some interesting Motorcycle Accident Statistics. For example, Bike World reports that motorcycle ownership for riders between the ages of 40 and 49 increased by nearly 28% from 1990 to 2003 (the latest year for which statistics are available). Motorcycle ownership also increased by about 25% in the 50 and over age group during the same period. The median age (50% over and 50% under) rose from 32 to 41 years old during the same period, and the average jumped from 33.1 years old to 40.2. Overall, between 1995-2004, the number of registered motorcycles rose by 1,883,679, an increase of 48%. The only conclusion I arrived at was: as older riders come to represent a larger proportion of overall riders, a greater percentage of accidents will occur among older riders.

About a month ago I was on my Harley on I-275 heading south over the Sunshine Skyway Bridge heading toward a well-known and fun biker bar. As I was going up the bridge, at 60 miles per hour (the speed limit is 65), a young man in his mid-twenties flew past me doing about 80. And as he passed me, he opened the throttle, lifted his front wheel and rode the next 100 yards or so on one wheel. Interestingly, he was at the biker bar when I arrived and we chatted. After I complimented him on his riding skills, he said to me, “Well, Pop, us younger riders just have so much more eye-hand coordination than your age group.” I agreed with him, but then added, “But sometimes we make up for that with better judgment?”

Any thoughts?

Be smart… be safe, Bill

Women Motorcyclists

Motorcycling is gaining in popularity, especially among women. In 2000, there were approximately 442,000 licensed motorcyclists, with women making up about 36,000 of the total. Over the last six years, however, the number of licensed motorcyclists increased to more than 496,000, with the number of women riders rising by 12,000.

In my recently published pop-psych book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em (amazon.com), I share 50 vignette moments with my parents and others in which a mom or dad offered a pearl of wisdom. In one vignette (story), I tell about a husband and wife with whom I talked while sitting at an outside table at a biker bar. When they got up to leave and he walked to his motorcycle, on the back of his shirt was, “If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off.” When she got up and walked to her motorcycle, nonetheless, on the back of her shirt was, “If You Can Read This, The Bitch Just Passed You.” Most importantly, they were a real neat couple and were enjoying their riding “together on their own bikes.”

If you are a woman motorcyclist – a seasoned rider, a newbie or a wanna-be – remember: safety first! And if you haven’t already done so, take a motorcycle safety course. I remember saying when I completed taking the course, “If I only learned one thing, that one thing could save my life.”

There also are some helpful and fun Internet sites for women motorcyclists. For example, there’s the Women On Wheels® Motorcycle Organization (womenonwheels.org) – it’s mission is: “To unite all women motorcycle enthusiasts for recreation, education, mutual support, recognition, and to promote a positive image of motorcycling.” Another good site is Motor Maids, Inc. (motormaids.org) which is “a diverse group of women motorcyclists united through a passion for riding while fostering a positive image and promoting safe riding skills.”

Enjoy, and remember: “Keep the shiny side up!” Bill

Humorous and Inspirational Quotes… and Motorcycle Wisdom

Most motorcycle riders know at least a dozen humorous and inspirational quotes related the “the ride.” For example, in addition to the one accompanying my photo – my Harley Wisdom blog photo – (Keep the shiny side up!), here are a couple of my favorites:
“Four wheels move the body... two wheels move the soul.”
“Young riders pick a destination and go... old riders pick a direction and go.”
“Keep your bike in good repair: Motorcycle boots are NOT comfortable for walking.”
“Don’t argue with an 18-wheeler.”
“When you’re riding lead, don’t spit.”

If you want to enjoy other motorcycle phrases similar to these (some funny, some serious), here's a fun site: aoe.vt.edu/~cdhall/Space

Please feel free to share your favorites.

Thanks, Bill

Harley Wisdom…

Some friends and colleagues recently asked me, “What is Harley Wisdom.” Good question. I told them, among other things, it is a way of looking at the speed bumps of life in more than just one way. For example, sometimes it’s appropriate and befitting to be serious and sobering about things. One of the quasi-inspirational quotes in my recently published book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em (amazon.com), is “Fool me once fool on you; fool me twice fool on me.”

This morning while on my Harley running a few errands, I met some friends for coffee. Our conversation included a discussion about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s Asian tour – her last stop being in Beijing. (chinadaily.com.cn/english)

Considering the potential crises associated with the nuclear issue on the Korean Peninsula, Taiwan and the instability across the Taiwan Straits, there indeed was reason for our conversation to be serious. And it was. Nonetheless, we also appreciated that for the first time the United States is sending rice to China.

Carpe diem, Bill

The Good Life

As I recently was chatting with some friends about “life,” we were intrigued by some of Scott and Helen Nearing’s thoughts regarding what a good life is (amazon.com).

Some of my friends occasionally look at my life with an envious eye (“Hey, Bill you live on the water on St. Pete Beach, Florida, play softball, ride a Harley, blah, blah, blah.”) And when that happens, I enjoy the spotlight of the moment yet remind them that when you drool over the green grass on the other side of a fence, be careful… some of it may be Astroturf.

Carpe diem, Bill

My Motorcycle

Some of you have asked me what kind of motorcycle I have. It’s a 2005 FLHRC Road King Classic (it’s Black Cherry Pearl and has a number of chrome parts I’ve added to it – you know how that goes!). harley-davidson.com 2007_Motorcycles

As I ride the west coast of Florida, I love it – to me, it truly is the king of the road. The operative words being, “to me.” The only thing that really matters is that you’re safe, having fun, and riding what’s best for you.

Keep the shiny side up!

Thanks, Bill

Welcome...

Welcome to my blog. And now that you’re here, possibly for the first time, you may be wondering, “Who is this guy, Bill Emener?” Ah, grasshopper… the angst of what I should write about in my first blog is diminished – “I’ll tell you who I am,” I thought, “a sterling idea!”

This evening, following a good workout at the gym and a hot shower, I jumped on my motorcycle I went to my favorite restaurant here on St. Pete Beach. “While eating dinner on an outside patio,” I said to myself, “I’ll draft my blog.” A salad, an order of spaghetti and a hundred cups of coffee later, the only thing on my pad was what I started with: Who am I? Thus, I decided to start with what I know.

Firstly, I know that to a large extent my “Who” is a unique combination of my “Whats”. And as I have directly and indirectly written about in my books, especially my pop psych/self-help books and novels, my list of “Whats” also includes my “use-to-bes” (e.g., college basketball player, high school English teacher, scratch golfer, licensed psychologist), my “now-ams” (e.g., professor, softball player, writer, father, Pop Pop) and “wanna-bes” (e.g., the next winner of the Florida Lottery).

Another thing I know is that every time I have an epiphany and get close to really knowing who I am, I change and feel like I have to start all over again. Jeez! Well, maybe the process of trying to know who we are is more important than actually knowing.

Sorry I haven’t fully answered your question, “Who is this guy, Bill Emener.” Yet I have to believe that you know more about who I am than when you started reading this blog. I hope so. And if you have any suggestions, please… share.

Thanks, Bill