Friday, March 09, 2007

What is the Measure of a Man or Woman?

Yesterday on Misa Ramirez’s blog, Misa discussed this intriguing question and suggested such things as “A person’s relationship with their parents (assuming the parents are decent human beings)” and “What a person would do if a cat was stuck in a tree.”

In my Comment on her blog, I offered what Eli, one of the characters in my soon to be released contemporary romance novel, If Ever Again… It’ll be for Love, says to the heroine, Diane:

Diane continued to sip the rest of her coffee, yet listened intently as Eli went on. “Here’s the way I look at it, when I think of any person, I really don’t give a damn about their bank account, how they earn their money, what kind of car they drive, what they wear or what their orientation is. All I need to know is, How do they treat themselves? How do they treat their family and loved ones? And, how do they treat the world around them? And if they do those things in non-prejudicial, caring and loving ways, then shit – what else matters?”

Question: What do you consider the measure of a man or woman?



Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

I agree with Diane! ;)

Anonymous said...

Great post Dr. Bill. I agree with you 100% on this one. I've learned a good measure of a potential male mate is to take a good look at how he treats his mother. I haven't been wrong yet.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hey there PQ,
Thanks for stopping by... and I have to believe that if there were more people in the world who lived their lives consistent with what Eli is saying, it would be a better world.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hi Nienke,
Thanks for the compliments and sharing your experience. I also would be that you were seeing other things as well as how they treated their mothers. Nonetheless, I would not disagree with that overall observation (I've actually done like wise myself)... "How a person treats his or her parents..." is important, and there indeed may be something to the cross-gender part (sons-mothers and daughters-fathers).

insideout said...

The measure of a man is not what materialist possessions he has but what he has accomplished as a husband and a father. The time he spends offering support, love and spiritual leadership in his home. The ability to say that the house being spotless is more important to him and that he can't expect her to feel as pasionate about that as me. That could also equate to dishes, dirty cloths exc: picking your fights in other words. Continually taking a self inventory of yourself to make sure you arent taking more than you are giving. I/O

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hello I/O,
Thanks for your in depth list of considerations. While I applaud you and your list, they could be considered very high self-expectations by many. Nonetheless, if more people were like that it sure would be a better world. While you and I may not be perfect, if we reach and attain these qualities we'll for sure be in the neighborhood.
Thanks again,

DH said...

Interesting question. Although I never have consciously thought about it before, right away I knew my answer. I measure a man or a woman by what they believe and do they live by what they believe? That seems to tell me everything I need to know.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hi DH,
As you point out, "consistency" is a good quality for a person to have -- behaving consistent with our beliefs (especially if we have good beliefs).