“Happiness” – A Pervasive Human Goal

As most of us know, happiness is an emotional or affective state that is characterized by feelings of enjoyment, pleasure, and satisfaction, and my thesis is that being happy is a pervasive human goal. Interestingly, some of the great minds of the world have offered some serious and humorous comments about the construct of happiness. For example:

Albert Schweitzer said, “Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.

Aristotle concluded, “Happiness belongs to the self-sufficient.”

Edith Wharton said, “If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.”

George Burns suggested, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

HH the Dalai Lama postulated, “Consider the following. We humans are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.” And,

Robert Heinlein connected happiness with love: “Love is a condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

In view of Heinlein’s quote, it is no surprise that at some point in my contemporary romance novels, the heroines (Sheila in My Sweetpea: Seven Years and Seven Days, Marcia in Fear of Feeling Loved, and Diane in If Ever Again… It’ll be for Love) tell someone in their lives “All I want is to be happy.”

In my pop-psych book, Living Life, Anyway, toward the end of Chapter Twenty-Two, “Living Life, Happily” I say the following (Pages 156-157):

I conclude this chapter with a reminder that if you actively chase happiness, you will never find it. Simplistically said, you can’t get up in the morning and say to yourself, “Today I’m going to find happiness.” Actively pursuing happiness is like chasing a butterfly – the more you chase it, the more it just eludes you. But if you sit down quietly, turn your thoughts to other things, and become mentally and emotionally involved in what you are doing, the butterfly may come and sit upon your shoulder. (And anyway, my grip would probably kill it if I were to catch it.) Furthermore, remember that there is no guarantee that getting or finding what you want or what you are looking for will make you happy. Thus, try to be happy with yourself in the process of looking. Endeavor to have some idea of what you are looking for, what you need and want, and what you minimally have to have, to amplify and maximize your chances of being happy. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know when you find it? There is a befitting cliché I tend to recollect every time I go fishing: “Ninety percent of the fish are caught by ten percent of the fishermen.” Thus, when I take someone fishing with me, I sometimes say, “If you have to catch fish in order to be happy, then don’t go fishing with me. But if you are happy just for the opportunity of fishing, then grab your pole and let’s go!”

Question: How central is “happiness” in your life?

Bill