Thursday, January 04, 2007

Love Pearls… the Pearls of Wisdom Kind

Over the past few days, as I have been working on the first drafts of the last couple of chapters of my next contemporary romance novel, I found myself thinking about “love”, “being in love,” “courtship,” and “marriage.” In the process, I reflected on some poignant pearls of wisdom associated with such phenomena. For example, in my recently published book, Mom and Dad’s Pearls of Wisdom… You Gotta Love ’Em, I included what for me personally was a very enlightening pearl of wisdom from my (now-deceased) Mom. When she and I had been talking about her and my Dad’s 40+ years of marriage, and I asked her what she thought a good marriage was. After some pondering on her behalf, she said, “A good marriage is when both husband and wife wind up with someone better than they deserve.”

I also found some very intriguing quotes regarding “love” – not necessarily the kind we tend to see on bumper stickers, yet very enlightening. For example, Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve was to have said: “Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are.” Likewise, I really like Franklin P. Jones' thoughts regarding love: “Love doesn't make the world go ’round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” (Isn’t that cool!) And on the website,, an Unknown Source was to have said, “The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt.”

Somewhat akin to Jones’ above quote, in my pop psych book, Living Life, Anyway, I offered a consideration of love that I believe is critical to long-term adult loving relationships: “When we love each other we don't open each other's wounds, we help each other heal them.”

If you have any “Love” or “Loving” pearls of wisdom that tend to touch you in a special way, please share them.

Thanks! Bill


Anonymous said...

Those are good sayings.
I can't think of any except "Love is when you don't have to ask her if it has to be cash or can she take Visa.."

Dr. Bill Emener said...


Unknown said...

Ok, this might be cheesy, but I think it's true.

Love is an verb, not a noun. It's something you do.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hey Kip,
I don't think it's cheesy at all. I many times have lectured at the University about the differences between "active love" and "passive love." If I love you passively, my love for you doesn't mean a tinker's damn to you -- it's only when I actively love you that there truly is any real love between us.

Anonymous said...

Love is when she goes to the store, buys chips and salsa and beer, and makes you chili so you can enjoy watching football games that she has no interest in watching. Of course this is usually followed by a trip to the mall within the next week but that's a different blog.

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hi Macanole,
Gotta love it... and the trip to the mall is to purchase a new 54" flat screen plazma HD TV with sound-around before the playoffs. Riiiight!
Pass the chip please...

Cole Reising said...

Wow - I really like this post! Thanks for stopping by my blog -- I really think your mother knew what she was talking about as well as, the rest of the sayings seem correct too. So maybe love can't be summed up in a quick snappy saying -- there are too many elements.

Have a great day!

Dr. Bill Emener said...

Hi Nicole,

Thanks for the Comment and very gracious words. You make an excellent point. Every once and awhile I will finish writing a book chapter or giving a lecture on love, marriage, and adult loving relationships and think to myself, “Ah ha, after years of study and work as a therapist, I finally have ‘love’ figured out.” Then of course, reality returns – people have spent over three millennia trying to understand the concept of love and still don’t have it nailed down… who do I think I am anyway!” As you so well said, there are too many elements. Nonetheless, I think it's more important to try to enjoy love than it is to try to figure it out.

Hoping to see you back, Bill