Last night I gave a three-hour lecture to my graduate class – Theories of Counseling; the topic was “Couples/Marriage Counseling and Therapy.” As I have said in self-help books (e.g., amazon.com) and pop-psych books (e.g., amazon.com), and portrayed in my soon-to-be-published novel, Fear of Feeling Loved, the importance of being loving can never be overestimated.
If you are in a love relationship, you undoubtedly love him or her. However, as I have addressed in other Posts, if he or she doesn’t feel loved by you, in many ways your love for him or her doesn’t exist (or matter). Simply said, it is imperative that you know how to be loving, and to do so requires that you have the skills to do it.
You may want to look at a very helpful Website that addresses How to be Romantic (rinkworks.com/romantic). It begins by making an important point: “Being romantic is hard work. Some people think that romance is easy, that anybody can be romantic with very little work. This is not true.” I couldn’t agree more. Check it out – you will find a list and discussions of specific things you can do to be romantic (and more loving).
At times, people indeed can be interesting. They love their dog, so they make sure to feed it, groom it and play with it. Yet they at times will say they love their loved one, yet don’t act loving toward him or her. Shoot for what I call a Triple-A Rating – the best thing you can hear from your loved one is, “I feel Admired, Appreciated and Adored by you.” And if you hear that, consider yourself lucky and keep doing what you’re doing!
Hugs, Bill
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